Succubus Revealed Chapter 15

It was easier state than d unitary, and at a conviction Hugh and Roman gave me whatsoever space, the full impact of what had taken place very and truly hit me. stage set was Kyriakos.Kyriakos was stage set.Even later on witnessing what I had with my own eyes, I dont think I would bemuse believed it if something inside me . . . some gut instinct . . . hadnt told me it was exclusively true. Not that Id ever suspected it. Not that Id ever dreamed it. The stick that Id felt to Seth had been strong, no question, bonnie as the draw to his other incarnations had been. Id always felt at that place was something special nearly Seth in particular, though, and wondered now what might have set this life unconnected from the rest. Did some part of me or some part of him? recognize that this was the last chance for us to be to annoyher? Was that where the urgency was coming from? Or was it more intimately the passage of time and whom I had fabricate? Recent years had do me more j aded about life as a succubus, and I wondered if peradventure that was what do him and our have sex so precious to me at this point in time.Our love, which had just short-winded up before my eyes.I called in sick to work the next day, something that didnt really go everyplace all that wellspring. It was Christmas Eve, one of the busiest days for Santa and his mall team, provided I didnt guardianship. There was no way I could example that chaos, not after what had happened with Seth. I was told curtly that if I didnt muster into work, then I shouldnt postulate to be rehired next year. I al virtually laughed and only b bely managed to cling to some shred of professionalism, as I gravely informed my manager that Id take that risk. Next Christmas, Id most likely be in Las Vegas. Even if I wasnt, I was pretty indisputable I could manage to get by without borderline wage and my foil dress.Finding Seth proved trickier. He didnt answer my phone calls, and when I went to his cond o, no one answered. Neither his nor Margarets car was parked out front, leading me to believe they were either doing last-minute Christmas obtain or visiting Terry and Andrea. If it was the former, I had no way of locating Seth easily. If it was the latter, I sure as shooting wasnt vent to barge into Terrys house and demand Seth speak to me. The situation might be dire, plainly I still had my boundaries.It wouldve been so easy to use these obstacles as the means to dodge talk to Seth altogether. Despite my assurances to Hugh and Roman, I really didnt want to suck up Seth. Well, the part of me that was in love with him did. That part was in agony every moment we werent together. just now the rest of me didnt want to face that expression again, that ugly distress on his face. I didnt want to confront the reality of what I was.Despite agreeing to see Seth, I really hadnt been able to truly convey to Roman and Hugh just how agonizing the thought of facing up to my sins was. I hadnt been able to handle the wrongness of what Id done then I could barely do it now. Id sold my soul, blighted away the memories of all those Id loved . . . all because I didnt want to accept the responsibility of what a terrible thing Id done. Youd think after almost a millennium and a half, that fear and self-preservation would have removed. I guess it hadnt.Or maybe it had. The fact that I was softening to find Seth now was induction that I had changed a little, enough to attempt another conversation after his adamant rejection of me.Kincaid?I glanced arse me. I was footing in line at a coffee shop Seth once in a while patronized to sit and write. Coming here had been a desire shot, and I hadnt been all that surprised to see he wasnt around. Last I knew, he hadnt been here in ages, especially with everything going on in his family. Apparently, this place had other patrons I hadnt whapn about.Doug, I state in surprise. I quickly located my order for a white chocolate m ocha coffee and then waved as Doug strolled over to me. Hed just come in, and fine drops of water covered his black hair. What are you having? I gestured to the barista. Doug watched a little surprised but only hesitated a moment before ordering an inhumanly sized cup of drip.Thanks, he told me, when I endow it over to him.You want to sit a minute? I asked. My original intention had been to grab the mocha and go. I didnt know what Dougs plan was, but some perverse urge made me want to try to get a moment with him.Sure, he state, viewing a little uncertain. But just for a minute. Ive got to be at work in an hour.We dont want you to be late for that, I agreed, settling stilt at a small table that gave us a fine view of the sleet outside. Seattle wasnt really known for white Christmases. All those last-minute shoppers toilsome to get their boxed sets.The ghost of a make a face crossed his face. You know it. Im surprised you arent at work. Is it true? I heard you were, uh, workin g elf calling at a mall on the Eastside.I grimaced. Painfully true. But I quit today.His eyebrows rose. On Christmas Eve? Thats cold, Kincaid. Think of the children.I know. But, well, something came up. . . . I glanced away, unable to meet his eyes as all my roiled feelings threatened to surface.Yeah, I tidy sum severalize, he said.I dared a look fend for. What do you mean?Doug shrugged. I dont know. Just this vibe I always got off of you when you were feeling blue. You put on a well behaved face for most of the world, but when something hurts you, your energy changes. Christ. He took a big drink of coffee. Now Im appear all New Agey and shit.Well, whatever it is, your instincts are right. I reconsidered. Though blue is kind of an understatement. More like navy. Or even black.Mortensen? he guessed.I shook my head and glanced away again. You dont want to hear about that. Although, perhaps some part of him would be glad to know Seth and I were through and through. Itd be vindic ation after what we did to Maddie.Try me, said Doug. When I didnt answer, he sighed. Kincaid, I dont hate you. Im not happy about what went piling, but in some weird, twisted way, I do still care about you. If somethings wrong, you bum itemise me. Did Mortensen hurt you?No, I said. Then Well, yes, but not without cause. I hurt him first.Ah.I dragged my gaze back to Doug. His eyes were dark and serious, no trace of enjoyment in my suffering. Ive been trying to find him today . . . trying to get a hold of him. But I think hes avoiding me. No, I know hes avoiding me.Youll patch it up, said Doug.I dont know. I dont think we can this time. This time, he scoffed. Kincaid, the first moment I saw you and Mortensen together, in that respect was something at that place. I dont know how to describe it. I was always surprised you guys never went out. I was surprised when he started going out with Maddie, though they seemed happy enough until . . . well, you know. Until he count on out he should be going out with you. He paused, thinking. Anyway, I talk a good talk about love in my songs but really dont know shit about it in real life. From what I do know, though, I feel like its going to take more than whatever argument this is to keep you guys apart.Thanks, I said. Thats nice of you . . . but you dont know. What I did was pretty terrible.What you guys did to Maddie was pretty terrible, said Doug. But Ive forgiven you.You have? I asked, startled.Yeah. He seemed a little surprised by the admission. I mean, it helps that this neurosurgeon asked her out last week. I can forgive a lot if it means having a doctor brother-in-law. But in all unassumingness? I know you guys didnt mean to hurt her, just like you didnt mean to hurt Mortensen here. What you did do is tell apart up majorly in the forthcomingness department.Forthcomingness? I repeated.He waved me off. Whatever. Its a word. If you guys had been honest with yourselves and with her, you couldve saved everyone a world of hurt. Keep that in mind now.Youre a regular relationship guru, I said, earning me another scoff. Yet, as wise as his manner of speaking sounded, I still didnt think there was any way to fetter this thousand-year-old hurt. Before I could muster another comment, my phone rang. I looked down at the display in surprise. Its Seth.You better answer it, then, said Doug.With a gulp, I did.loony bino? Yeah. Uh-huh . . . sure. Okay . . . I understand. Okay. Bye.I bemused and Doug gave me a questioning look. That didnt sound all that warm and fuzzy.Seth wants me to come to Christmas dinner tomorrow, I said disbelievingly.Well, thats a good sign, said Doug.I shook my head. I dont think it is. He said he doesnt want to create more upset in the girls lives and just wants me there for appearances, to make them happy. He made it clear that nothings changed, nor does he expect it to.I guess its more of a lukewarm sign, then, said Doug.I sighed, and Doug gently chucked my chin.Cheer up, Kincaid. You wanted to talk to him. Heres your chance, no matter what he said. Dont waste it.I mustered a smile. Howd you get so wise, Doug?He finished his coffee in a gulp. Fuck if I know.Dougs words were the kind that you hear in movies and books, the kind that power the against-all-odds comeback we love to see. It was my one chance, my chance to lead through Seths walls and surmount the insurmountable problems between us.But Seth made sure I never had the chance.I arrived on my own, laden with presents, and was immediately directed to entertain the girls. Seth made the request, since he and most of the other adults (except Ian, who only marginally counted as an adult anyway) were dug in inside the kitchen, and it seemed very reasonable. Normally, I wouldnt have minded either, except I had the gut feeling Seth was purposely keeping us far apart and constantly surrounded by people.So, I played with the girls, only half- bear in minding as they excitedly told me about what theyd g otten for Christmas. The only time my brooding thoughts shifted from Seth was when Brandy remarked about how more presents had shown up under their manoeuver this morning than could be accounted for.No one will own up to having gotten some of the presents. Mom and pascal think Uncle Seth did it. He thinks Grandma did it, Brandy said in a soft voice, so the smaller ones wouldnt overhear her.What kind of presents? I asked.She shrugged. Just toys . . . but lots of them. Like, Mom and Dad got Morgan some Princess Ponies. But this morning ? There were some Power Prism Ponies there too.I vaguely look oned Carter and Morgan discussing those very ponies. by chance Santa came by, I said.Brandy rolled her eyes, looking skeptical. Maybe.When dinner came, there was no avoiding being near Seth. Everyone expected us to sit together, and he could hardly ask to move somewhere else. But again, with so many people around, it didnt matter. I wasnt going to bring up any dangerous topics in the mid dle of Christmas dinner, and Seth knew that. two of us were silent, apparently listening as the others talked excitedly about the day and how happy they were that Andrea was feeling better.When dinner ended, Seth was the first one up and made a big deal about how all the guys should do dishes tonight while the ladies of the household retired to the living room. Everyone was pleased with this idea, except for Ian and me.What is it with you guys and Christmas? asked Andrea conspiratorially.I was sitting with her on the loveseat watching as Kendall directed Morgans ponies into an epic battle to the death. Huh? I asked, glancing away from the battlefield.You and Seth, said Andrea. I remember last Christmas, you guys were the same. Isnt this supposed to be the happiest day of the year?I repressed a grimace. Last Christmas, Id shew out that Seth had slept with Maddie in an effort to protect me from a relationship with him. Yeah. That hadnt been a great pass either.Weve got nothing aga inst Christmas, I said bleakly. Just . . . some issues to sort out.She frowned. Is it about his tour? I figured youd be for that.What tour?His publisher wants him to go traveling right after New Years. Seth had primarily refused because of . . . well, me. But Ive felt so good lately, I told him he shouldnt waste the chance.I hadnt known about that. I wondered if it was something that had just come up in the last day or if Seth simply hadnt told me beforehand. The tour would fall before my Las Vegas transfer, and I wouldnt have put it past Seth to decline it in order to maximize his time with me. Well, at least before things went bad.Thats not it, I said after several seconds, when I realized she was expecting an answer from me. Its . . . complicated.It always is, she said wisely.I looked past her, toward the kitchen, where I could just barely see the Mortensen men moving around with the dishes. For now, Id just settle for a few moments alone.She made no comment about that, but late r, when the guys returned to the living room, she said very casually, Seth, would you mind going up the stairs to get my red cardigan? I left it on the foot of the bed.Seth was about to sit down far away from me, of course but sprang up instantly at the request. As soon as hed disappeared up the stairs, Andrea nudged me with her elbow. I turned to her, startled, and she jerked her head toward the stairs.Go, she mouthed. I glanced around, saw no one was paying more attention to me, and hurried after Seth.I found him in the bedroom, staring around curiously for the perspirer that most likely didnt even exist. When he saw me in the doorway, he sighed heavily, realizing hed been tricked.I dont have time for this, he said, attempting to move past me.I put out my arm to block the door. Seth, please. Just listen to me. Just for a few minutes.He stood there, only a few inches away, and then backed up. Since he apparently didnt want to push past and risk interrelateing me, he must have opinionated distance was better, even at the risk of being trapped in the room. Georgina, there is nothing you can say. Nothing that can change what happened between us.I know that, I said. Im not going to try.He eyed me suspiciously. You arent?I swallowed, all words and thoughts fading from me as I stared into his eyes. There it was that look. That same look of hurt and utter devastation that Kyriakos had worn so many centuries ago. It was looking out at me through Seths eyes.I nodded. We need to know about your contract. We just want to know some details.To help you? he asked.To help both(prenominal) of us. From what weve gathered, Hell violated my contract when it wrote yours. And that makes the conditions of yours contradictory. We might be able to get them both invalidated . . . but we need to understand yours better.Seth leaned against the wall, eyes staring vacantly ahead as his thoughts turned inward. I dont even understand the details of my contract. I barely remember it . . . . I mean, I do and dont. What went down . . . with the hypnosis . . . its real and its not.I started to take a step forward, wanting badly to touch him and comfort him since he was clearly distraught. Caution held me back. You have to try. Right now, if you dont, then youre going to go to Hell when you die. Doesnt matter if you become a saint before then. That contract brands your soul . . . unless, well . . . were not sure if there was some condition that if you and I got back together, then youd be free. Thats what we need to know.Does it matter? he asked. Seeing as that doesnt look like its going to happen doesnt look like it was ever going to happen, if all those lives were any indication.Well, I mean, yeah . . . it matters in that the more information we have, the better our case.Cant you just have Hugh look it up?I shook my head. Not without raising attention. Itd be better if we can get the details from you.Well, sorry, then. I dont remember anything more than what I t old you. And honestly? I dont care.How can you not care? I asked incredulously. Its your soul were talking aboutIll take my chances, he said.A spark of anger permeated the aggrieve that had clung to me these last couple days. There are no chances. Its a done deal. Your soul belongs to Hell. Nothings going to change it.Does it really matter? You gave your soul to Hell.For you I cried. I did it for you. To save you. I would do it a c times over if I had to.Seth scoffed. Why didnt you just not cheat on me one time?I was young, and I was stupid, I said, amazed at how levelly I could acknowledge that. I was scared, and I felt like you were so far away from me. Like I wasnt part of your priorities anymore. It was all about work and music for you.And you never thought about talking to me about any of that first? You know you can always bring anything up to me.I sighed. To you, maybe. Not to Kyriakos. He . . . you . . . may have meant well but wasnt always so easy to get through to.But I am him, argued Seth, though he sound a little unsure. Er, was.Yes and no, I said. Look, Im no expert on reincarnation, but from what I know, even though the soul and some parts of the character are constant, theres still, like . . . evolving taking place. You pay off and change. Thats the point of reincarnation. Youre the same person, but you arent. You werent perfect back then. Hell, you arent now. Maybe you Seth can handle talking about this . . . maybe after ten lives, youve developed enough relationship maturity. Back then? Im not so sure. I obviously didnt have it either.Obviously, he repeated. His gaze held me for a long time, and this time, I couldnt tell what he was feeling. At least there was no overt hate or anything. Either that, or hed simply learned to conceal it. Finally, he said, I meant it. I dont remember the contract details. . . . Just that I would be allowed to keep finding you.Thats it? I said. Nothing else? If theres anything more . . . I mean, the stakes he re are huge, Seth. I know you said youd take your chances, but remember when were talking about your soul, were looking beyond the scope of one human life. Were looking at eternity.There you go again, he said, with a small, ruthful smile. Making an argument for the sanctity of the soul, a soul you threw away.And I told you before, Id do it again.So you wouldnt have to face me and look me in the eye after what youd done.In part, I said. But also to save your life. To give you a chance at happiness. Because at that moment . . . that was more important than my eternity.Seth took a long time to answer, and I again wished I knew what was happening behind those brown eyes. Whose thoughts were stirring in there? His or Kyriakoss? Or any of the other men Id had turbulent romances with?You didnt want to face me then, he said at last. But here you are. Why? To save your own soul?To save both our souls, I said.Seth straightened up from his slouch against the wall and moved toward the door. I cant help you. I mean it I dont remember anything else. Now. If youd please make some polite excuse to the others and leave, Id really appreciate it.He came to stand in front of me in the doorway, and for a half a second, time stood still as we examine each other, only a few inches apart. A thousand feelings warred within me, powered by a thousand years worth of lifetimes. With a slow nod, I yielded and let him walk past me.He didnt look back.